You Are a Discordian Pope
By the power vested in us by Eris, Goddess of Chaos and Confusion, we declare that every man, woman, and child on this Earth is a genuine and authorized Pope of Discordia.
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What Does It Mean to Be a Pope?
In Discordianism, the title of "Pope" is not an honor bestowed upon the few, but a birthright of every human being. This is a core teaching of Discordian philosophy: no one has spiritual authority over anyone else.
"The Principia Discordia gives us the title of Pope. Not Pope of anything, just Pope. And a Pope can do anything a Pope can do."
Papal Powers
As a genuine and authorized Pope, you have the power to:
- Excommunicate anyone you want (including yourself)
- De-excommunicate anyone (including yourself)
- Ordain new Popes (remind them they already are one)
- Issue papal bulls, decrees, and encyclicals
- Grant indulgences (to yourself and others)
- Invoke infallibility on any pronouncement (and be wrong anyway)
- Bless or curse anything you please
Papal Responsibilities
As a Pope, your responsibilities include:
- Treating all other Popes with the respect due to someone of equal spiritual rank (everyone)
- Not taking yourself too seriously
- Remembering that you could be wrong about everything
- Enjoying the absurdity of existence
- Being kind to yourself and others (this is actually important)
The Pope Card Tradition
Pope Cards have been distributed since the early days of Discordianism. The original Principia Discordia included Pope Cards for readers to cut out and use. The tradition continues: reproduce and distribute freely. Give them to friends, strangers, enemies, and especially to people who take themselves too seriously.
How to Use Your Pope Card
- Download the high-resolution image above
- Print it on card stock if possible (or regular paper)
- Cut it out
- Laminate it if you want it to last
- Carry it in your wallet as a reminder of your inherent spiritual authority
- Show it to people who question your right to do whatever it is you're doing
- Make copies and give them to others
A Note on Hierarchy
The fact that everyone is a Pope doesn't mean there's no hierarchy in Discordianism. It means everyone is at the top of the hierarchy. This is either a profound spiritual truth or a very good joke. Possibly both.
Remember: a Pope outranks a Cardinal, who outranks a Bishop, who outranks a Priest. Since you are a Pope, you outrank all of these. You also outrank other Popes, who also outrank you. This paradox is a feature, not a bug.
Hail Eris! All Hail Discordia!
Go forth and be Papal.